Sunday, April 25, 2010
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Solutions to many problems...
There are so many things, don't work out the way we wanted. Teachers have problem that their students are not listening to them. Parents have problem that their children are not obeying them. Boss have problem that his/her employee are not responsible or independent with their job. There are plenty of complaints like this...
Well, the approach to solve any difficult/complex problem is to take step-by-step approach. First of all start with exploring the root of the problem within us, is it my attitude? is it my approach? is it my paradigm? etc...I am not saying that we have to blame ourselves at the beginning to solve any problem, what I mean by exploring ourselves means, we should think first from our side, before we try to develop/explore in somebody else. First we should try to bring change in within (self). I remember one story, There was a mother with 7 year old child. Her child used to eat too much sweets, and doesn't listen to his mother. She decided to bring him to Lord Buddha, in order to preach her child for not to eat excessive sweet. She went to Lord Buddha and explain the situation, Lord Buddha asked her, to bring him after three days. She followed his suggestion, and went on forth day. On that day Lord Buddha explained to that 7 year old child that "Dear son, don't eat too much sweet, its not good for your health". After that, mother of that child asked Buddha, why did you asked me to come after four days, as you could have told this sentence even when I came first time before 4 days. Then, Buddha replied, I didn't tell you son to refrain from sweet on that day itself, because I was having sweet myself, and you should not ask or even expect others to follow your command until you follow it or bring it to your habit.
Let's check the roots of our problem within our self first, before we try to find solution from outside.....You will find that many of the problems/worries are not worth thinking, as you change your attitude and bring good virtues within you, they will go away, and you need not to change the things in outside world...At least this can apply to many problems we have (as mentioned in first para) or our complaints about the Government/Society/Workplace, etc...
Well, the approach to solve any difficult/complex problem is to take step-by-step approach. First of all start with exploring the root of the problem within us, is it my attitude? is it my approach? is it my paradigm? etc...I am not saying that we have to blame ourselves at the beginning to solve any problem, what I mean by exploring ourselves means, we should think first from our side, before we try to develop/explore in somebody else. First we should try to bring change in within (self). I remember one story, There was a mother with 7 year old child. Her child used to eat too much sweets, and doesn't listen to his mother. She decided to bring him to Lord Buddha, in order to preach her child for not to eat excessive sweet. She went to Lord Buddha and explain the situation, Lord Buddha asked her, to bring him after three days. She followed his suggestion, and went on forth day. On that day Lord Buddha explained to that 7 year old child that "Dear son, don't eat too much sweet, its not good for your health". After that, mother of that child asked Buddha, why did you asked me to come after four days, as you could have told this sentence even when I came first time before 4 days. Then, Buddha replied, I didn't tell you son to refrain from sweet on that day itself, because I was having sweet myself, and you should not ask or even expect others to follow your command until you follow it or bring it to your habit.
Let's check the roots of our problem within our self first, before we try to find solution from outside.....You will find that many of the problems/worries are not worth thinking, as you change your attitude and bring good virtues within you, they will go away, and you need not to change the things in outside world...At least this can apply to many problems we have (as mentioned in first para) or our complaints about the Government/Society/Workplace, etc...
Friday, April 16, 2010
Personality Ethics v/s Character Ethics
I was reading "The 7 habits of Highly Effective People" by Stephen R. Covey. This is one of the best seller book. Well, stephen gave personality development training to several business organizations and done extensive research on this topic before writing this book. Therefore, I was expecting few personality development/communication skills related habits from this book. But, I was amazed, as he started with the topic "Personality and Character Ethics". Let's first understand what is it"
Personality Ethics: This is more related to public image of a person, which includes, attitude and behaviors in public, skills and techniques to win other people, how to lubricate the processes of human interaction. Personality Ethics has something to do with Positive Mental Attitude (PMA), communication skills, public speaking, and to win others confidence/Trust in you (like interview skills). These skills are clearly manipulative, even deceptive, encouraging people to use technique to get other people to like you.
Character Ethics:Human qualities like integrity, humility, fidelity, temperance, courage, justice, patience, simplicity, modesty, Trustworthy. Character Ethic taught that there are basic principles of effective living and that people can only experience true success and enduring happiness as they learn and integrate these principles into their basic character.
According to Stephen's research on literature, the basic view of success shifted after World War-I, from Character Ethics to Personality Ethics.
To be successful in your career, Personality Ethics are important to some extend, however, Character Ethics are extremely important for your true life time success. Personality Ethics can give you short-term success, as with your communication skills you can fake others and gain their confidence for few-year may be, but certainly not the trust for life time. Gaining TRUST is far more important for your life time success, as compared to gaining someone's Confidence in you.
In short, All the Personality Ethics related skills are not bad for true integrity, and therefore, they are good to have it, but not at the cost of Character Ethics. Develop personality skills/Ethics by holding all your Character Ethics.
Personality Ethics: This is more related to public image of a person, which includes, attitude and behaviors in public, skills and techniques to win other people, how to lubricate the processes of human interaction. Personality Ethics has something to do with Positive Mental Attitude (PMA), communication skills, public speaking, and to win others confidence/Trust in you (like interview skills). These skills are clearly manipulative, even deceptive, encouraging people to use technique to get other people to like you.
Character Ethics:Human qualities like integrity, humility, fidelity, temperance, courage, justice, patience, simplicity, modesty, Trustworthy. Character Ethic taught that there are basic principles of effective living and that people can only experience true success and enduring happiness as they learn and integrate these principles into their basic character.
According to Stephen's research on literature, the basic view of success shifted after World War-I, from Character Ethics to Personality Ethics.
To be successful in your career, Personality Ethics are important to some extend, however, Character Ethics are extremely important for your true life time success. Personality Ethics can give you short-term success, as with your communication skills you can fake others and gain their confidence for few-year may be, but certainly not the trust for life time. Gaining TRUST is far more important for your life time success, as compared to gaining someone's Confidence in you.
In short, All the Personality Ethics related skills are not bad for true integrity, and therefore, they are good to have it, but not at the cost of Character Ethics. Develop personality skills/Ethics by holding all your Character Ethics.
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